New Year Eve

This year I will laugh more and worry less...

I will let go instead of holding back...

I will be risky instead of safe...

This year I will live my life so that there are no regrets..

Friend told me that Beauty is in the eye of beholder

1st Accident

Flash back
27th December 2005
Night time hang out with Ray. Met up 3 new friends that is Sume, Oniel and Sandy. Sandy come from KL. This is the first time she came to Sabah. 4 of us went to Funfair. *yikes* The place was muddy after the rain. Crowded. Many malays. Some of them are really disguisting! They can get closer and closer and touch you. *yuckss* Pilak.. Pilak.. Lots of game at the funfair. But everyone of them are expensive. 1 token for rm2. Every games need at least 2 tokens. That's mean rm4 per game. The ghost house is sucks! Dolls are hanging all around. I screamed and got scare because i've been touched by one of those 'ghost'. After the funfair, we went to Mega Pavilion to watch Chronicles of Narnia:The lion, the witch and the wardrobe. A very nice movie. Sume sent us to Ray's house and he lefted. Four of us went to Lee Wong Kee for a drink. Ray told me that tomorrow morning they will bring Sandy to pay a visit at Kinabalu National Park and Poring and he asked if i can join them.

Yesterday
Woke up early morning. Finished up the laundry. Asked my parents' permission for joining my friends' trip. They allowed me to join. I've ready all the stuffs that i wanted to bring. Friends picked me up on 12 noon. Met up another new friend, Henry. We talked, we laughed, we rested all along the way. It's late, so we decided to go Poring 1st. We stopped by at the stalls which sells many kinds of vegetables and flowers. Those roses are beautiful. Ray bought a bunch red roses for me. I like them very much. Smells good and refreshing.

*The blooming red roses*

While we're talking and laughing with each other, suddenly Henry did an emergency break. We're shocked. When we wanted to ask what's happen, the car behind us, Hilux, banged on our car. Three of us who sat behind were knocked onto the cushion. Tragic!! Ain't our fault but im still wondering why the heck was the first car suddenly stop in the middle of road? We all went out from the car. Tried to figure out how's the car. I felt extremely dizzy at that time and i wanted to puke. Sandy and Ray also felt dizzy. All of them were moody. After the accident, Oniel drove the car to Ranau to settle down the problems. Everyone was silent in the car. Ray hold my hand tightly, he tried to calm me down. He appears in my mind, and i kept thinking of him. I felt scary and insecure. How i wish he was there with me. I need your warm hug.

Not to mention this is 1st accident that i met. Im still scare. After they settle all the problems, we've decided back to kk. We're hungry. Ray suggested to go National Park to take dinner. After the dinner, I accompany Ray to take the car. It was a long way. Fog are all around us. The sky is getting dark and it started to rain. It's really cold and freezing.

Drove back to kk after they had finished their dinner. Heavy rain and thick fog made us couldn't see the road clearly. I was really quite all the way, yet im still thinking of him. I feel pain on my neck and i can't move my neck easily. Guess it's hurted during the accident. Im getting fever. Hopefully i will recover soon.

This is the picture that we took right before the accident. So tragic hor..

New Year is coming!

Nothing special today. Just stay at home read manga. One piece is very interesting. Woke up at 1pm today. I'm able to finish up the houseworks in an hour. It's going to rain i guess. Im wondering why my hair are so messy.

Last night... Last night.. What's happened?
Family and I took dinner at uncle Terry's house. Of course i know Natalie, but i don't feel like talk to her, just that she is friend of the bitch. *Yikes* Bitch!!! When we're arrived, aunty was busy preparing the dinner. She was cutting the turkey and my mum helped her. Well, i'm just sat beside them and listened to their conversation. It was mama's conversation. I ate fried mee, turkey, ham and lots of satays. Yum yum~ satays and turkey are delicious. The fruit juice that contained honeydew, sago and some other fruit are nice too. But there's a fruit was tasted bitter. Children were playing their games, those "adults" were talking about business and "adults' topic" while i just watched tv programme. Quite boring to stay there. Finally Ray phoned me. He said he will pick me up at 9 something. I'm noticed mum tried to make me drunk with the chivas.

Roy, Christina and Ray picked me up right on time. Yes! They saved me out from the bored place. They have planned to watch Cheaper by the dozen 2. We went to Mega Pavilion to buy the tickets. Then, we spent our time at 7 eleven. After awhile, we went to cinema. Met up aunty and uncle there.

The movie is nice. It's comedy and it's funny. I'm enjoyed watching it. It was a bit cold because there were just a little peoples who watched this movie. They sent me home after the movie. I was looking at the sky all the time in the car. Cloudy and it seems going to rain. Reached home at 12.30pm. My parents and my brothers haven't back yet. Went online and looked for him. He wasn't there. Phoned him and found out he was having lunch at his friend place. Feel nice and happy whenever talk to him.

It's Christmas Day!!

Merry Christmas to all of you.

Woke up at 7:50am to text you a message. Wondered if you have get the message.. There's no any respon from you. Went to sleep again. When i was sleeping, i heard dad asking me a question, something like do you wanna go out to eat? Im sorry dad because i had ignore you. I didn't mean it at all just that i was in sleeping mode. I think he's angry.

Last night, Ray invited me to take christmas dinner with his family. Yikes! I was overdressing. I wanted to get changed. But, it was too late. Ray brought me into his house already. Sigh. I think everyone were stunned after saw me. Met Roy's friend, Sydney. The foods were prepared by aunty, Christina, Ray and Sydney. There have chicken, two kinds of pasta and salad. All tasted good. After dinner, i heard they will have a present exchange. Gosh! I don't even bring any present. It's Ray's fault!! I felt more paiseh!! At last, i still got presents from Ray, aunty and Christina. Thank you very much. Aunty wanted to watch Narnia. Planned to watch 10.10pm show at Mega Pavilion but we can't make it cause the ticket were sold out. Got back to Ray's house. Roy asked us to join them for the Life game. Sounds interesting. Yupe, the game is interesting like monopoly. I doesn't know how to play at first, after awhile it was ok to me. Roy and me were the winner but im the millionaire. *hohoho* As they said, beginner always have the luck to win. After the game, we all went downstair to see the cake if it is done. It's 12am. Text him a message. He was being very cool. Phoned him and talked to him for awhile. I finished my phone credit. He is important to me. Really. Sigh. Don't you know it and appreciate it? I am dissapoint when you're cool to me.

......know where I'd to spend christmas? It's in your arm...

Silent Night

Hear the sleighbells in the snow...

Feel the warmth of candle grow...

Smell the pine that fill the air..

It's Christmas, Christmas everywhere.

Hope it's especially happy where you are!

Tomorrow is Christmas. Guess i will just stay at home. A lonely christmas. Last night during Yan's birthday celebration, Ken phoned me. He asked me if i wants to follow him to New Zealand for Christmas and New Year celebration with his parents tomorrow.

"hmm.. dad and mum wanted to see you."

It took times to think about it. Silent for awhile..

"Ou..well.. I would like to stay here with my parents."

"....when will you come back?

"probably after new year"

"Alright then. I will help you to extend your flight till 2nd of Dec, is it ok to you?"

"hmm...yeah, i think so."

"Okay.. so.. will call you after im arrive. Have fun."

"yeah, thanks"

"You're welcome. Miss you. Hope to see you soon."

"Take care and have a safety trip."

"Ok, you too. Babe, goodnight." *muaks*

"Nites"

Sorry if i'm cool. I didn't mean it. I'm not feeling well on that time. Stomache. Yupe, last night was celebrate my best friend, Yan's birthday. Happy lovely 18th birthday to you again, Yan. Was a bit moody.. Sigh.. Guess it's just same of your feelings for her. Crap! Im sad on how things is going on..

Emotionally hurt

Im sick. Not enough sleep i guess. My body and my soul are tired. Friends were arguying about the trip to KL. I'm really don't understand why he's so wanted to argue with my best friend using his hundred rude words seems it was just misunderstood. Mr A, can you be gentlemen? How can you argue with a girl using bunch of rude words? Definately Ridiculous! We're here to solve problems, not to argue. Please behave yourself. Because of you, i've been scold by my mum and made my friend dislike of me. I'm really sorry to my friend because wake him up in the middle of night.

Sigh.. What else bad will come towards me? I feel so weak. I can't stand it anymore.

Last night, i had recieved a mms from someone. He is my ex bf. Before that, he phoned me. He sounds weird. On the phone, he didn't talk much. He wrote his feeling on the mms. He can read my mind. After read the message, i'm touched then i cried. Im so sorry of how i treated him during the day we're been together. Whatever i had done to him, he still can forgive me and he loves me. He's really a nice person. Im bad. I live with guilts. I can't forgive myself. Sigh. Who am i now? Shrug. I still have to move on regardless who i am. To you, i just can say sorry.

No beginning, No ending...

Today is 21st of Dec. I don't even realise 4 days later is Christmas. I haven't done my work yet. It will be late. Sigh. My 016 will be expired 2 more days later. Im broke. Last night went out with Ray and his family again. We took our dinner at Nok Thai Restaurant, Damai. Ray's dad likes Thai foods especially the green curry. The Tom Yam tasted sour. I prefer the fried meat ball. Tamarah was crying because she's sleepy. I like to play with her. I love babies. She going back to Canada today. *sad* After the dinner, we went to Gaya Street for the Christmas Street Festival. We're late, the concert has finished. We're just walked around those stalls. There're just like pasar malam. The weather was hot. Uncle bought a helmet for donation thingy. Quite happy cause saw uncle playing with aunty all the time. After that, we all went to Borneo Backpackers for a drink. Tarah was playing with her dad. She makes lotsa noices. So cute she is.

Arrived home at 11pm. Went online and chat with princess and ah yan for awhile. Checked friendster. He wasn't there. Offline and went to bed. Started to scare about the dreams. Cried. Called him and talked to him. Seems like he doesn't care at all. *pain* Wondering if he did mention about me in the latest post. No much time left. I want to know what are you thinking.

Ann Darrow-a barbie doll to King Kong

Last night went out with Ray and his family for a movie "King Kong". That was the first time we met each other. 8.30pm, Ray has arrived Beverly to pick me up. Unfortunately, the car's rear left tyre has puncture. He can't change the tyre because tools wasn't in the car. We have to wait Ray's brother to send it here. The 'process' took about half an hour. We stop by KFC to pick Ray's mum. Met his mum, his uncle, Raymond, his aunty, Catherine and their baby, Tarah. The baby girl is cute!! Feel like pinching her. The show started from 9.15pm and we're late to the movie. It's ok for me as long as we're safe to the destination. Well, we've missed the earlier part. That's not a problem because i heard peoples said it was quite boring. Ray is a caring person. He brought me a jacket. Thanks.

King Kong is simply amazing. Kong stays pretty true to the original. Naomi Watts plays Ann Darrow perfectly. Right down to her emotional connection with Kong, which is helped by the fact that Kong is pretty darn lovable when he is not ripping apart dinosaurs. Adrien Brody plays a great Jack Driscoll as well. The films ability to mix fright and humor at Skull Island. Scares of the natives *Gee* They looks damn freaking. Way too long. Animation and special effects were good, but in some areas really looked fake. I am wondering how Ann maintained her good looks, dress intact after being man-handled by King Kong, dinosaurs for what seemed to be a life-time. At the end of the story, i was touched when Ann was climbing higher try to save Kong. Yupe, im agree of what Carl's said at the end. It's beauty killed the beast.

In Ray's car, i was a bit quite. I was asking myself -who would you climb for? Whos that important in your life, that you would risk it all, even your life to save them, to help them, to show you care? I've got the answer. Ray talked about his past. Pity of him. I believe there will be a girl who truly loves him. Our topic never runaway from someone. Sad because he seems like doesn't care of me. What i am to him? A friend i guess.. Sigh. Never ask how am i and.. I can't sleep well everynight because of the nightmares. Always awake because of that.. Why he never ask me about this? He is being cool to me. =/

“Memoirs of a Geisha” is a tragic tale of Japan’s most celebrated geisha, Nitta Sayuri. Poverty sent her to work in a geisha house when Sayuri was a child. There, she meets a treacherous rival who nearly breaks her spirit. In spite of that, Sayuri blooms into a stunning beauty, and later becomes a legendary and accomplished geisha. Although capable of captivating the most powerful men of her time, Sayuri’s heart belongs to only one man who is out of her reach.

Worse dreams & nightmare!

Im sick. Having flu will just make me feel uncomfortable and sleepy. I've sleeped for 11 hours today. Most of the sleep time i will dreams and almost everynight I'll have a same nightmare. Shit! Im frighten of sleeping. I have dream somethings like I get married to a guy and we have our own baby, suddenly appears a real daddy for my baby. The daddy wants the baby back, he push me away to get the baby. He bring away my baby. I felt afraid and I cried. Well, on that time i was really cried. Sigh. Im so scare..

When desire overcome senses..

1305: Im very hungry now!! Where is my breakfast and lunch??
1318: Back!! Ping Pong's cream cracker with milk are always the best. Yum yum~
Remind me of my late gung gung. That was his favourite meal. Woke up at 11.30am, a sudden pain in my stomach. But im ok now.

Flash back ~
Finally i stepped out from my house. Thanks to kher lit & princess because they brought me out. Not to mention, it's going to 2 weeks since i step out from my house. You can't imagine how bored was me. They picked me up at 3 something. 1st destination was wisma. Kher Lit has a problem to park her car because the parking space was narrow. Princess and me were window shopping while kher lit bought her stuffs. Picked ah yan up at 6.30pm. End up at Damai for dinner. We ordered 20 honey chicken wings and we finished it. Kingston and Danny saw me. Situation became stiff when kher it asked elisa back home with king's ride. Sigh. Hope they're ok. King sent me home at last. Wanted to go Connie's place but wasn't feeling well. Puke twice. You've asked me if there's anything you should do for stay me. I've no idea. I am on the edge of considering Ken's propose. I hope it wasn't too late for you to tell me what you want to do. Im touch when you asked me to stay. Decision maybe selfish and i don't mind if self-sacrifice because other things aren't important to me anymore. I really wish to know about my future. I need a hug. =/

Bored enough!!!

I am really bored enough of staying here. Everyday is the same. Staying at home and facing to the computer screen most of the time. I'm getting crazy!! A bit lazy to do massage. Wish that kakak is here. Ken phone me everyday, he really cares of me.. He said he will come here as soon as possible. I was thinking maybe i should really get over someone. It's hard for me of letting go. =/ I can't imagine i am the first who get marry among my best friends. Soon this will be a fact. My wedding can be the grand and can be the most beautiful, but can i be a happy bride?

Itsuka No Merry Christmas

L o V e

Whatever you do, love will always be love.

For sorrow,for care, for anything effusive, love will be love.

When you get hurt, love will still be felt no matter what.

Love, will always stick to you, even though you realize the pain that its givin you.

Love will never leave you.

Even for how long you'll cry, love wont give up.

It will stay, and make you look stupid.

Thats how it is, love is love i say.

Love makes you cry, love makes you happy, love makes you do things, in better or for worse.

Love will always be the same.

You cannot do anything, still, you go for what you feel.

Even others get hurt or others be ruined.

Even for you, who to be blamed.

I love you.

Story about he & she

She is an ordinary girl; he is ordinary too. But for her, he is important and special.

They knew each other from an online chatting room. She always chat with him when she's go online. Unfortunately, he and she had an arguement because of some misunderstood. She felt upset and he pissed off. They never chat with each other anymore after that.

After a long time, he saw her at the beachside. She heard about it from one of her friend. On that time, she wants to meet him. They have started sms with each other and they've plan to meet at a cafe. On that day, she felt kinda shy and excited so she bring along her 2 best friends. That was the 1st time they met.

He has a special one in his heart. Sometimes, he will story to her about his loves one. Although that, he still will cares of her.

She likes to do anything with him. Shopping, talk on phone, dance, shares her problems and hapiness with him, listen to his stories...

Day after day, she found out that she falls for him. She feel happy to hang around with him. She will feel lonely when he doesn't talk to her. She feel sad everytime when they're argued with each other. She feel secure to be with him... She ever tried not to find and not to think of him, but she will just keep missing of him. Only him will makes her feel like that. But at the same time, she knew that she can't be with him.

She tried escape from him. But her love to him are strong. She knew that she can't escape from the reality.

One day, she stood in front of him and faced with him. She then told him off how she's feels on him. He was stun. He explained that why he can't be with her.. He told her that he always treated her as a friend. She cried.

Almost every night she went out to the pub, she drank alots to make herself drunk.

One night, he went to the pub with his friends. He saw she was drinking with her friends. She was in drunk situation. He was worried about her. He brought her to his house and let her rest on the bed. She suddenly hugged him and kissed him.. .........

3 weeks later, she messaged him that she was having his baby. He was shocked. Things had happen out of what he expected. He doesn't know what to do.

She knew he was not capable to fullfill his responbility and she doesn't want to be with him because of the baby. She also knew that her parent would not forgive of her. She runaway. They have lost contact with each other and yet he doesn't know anything about her anymore.

Especially to You

The gentleness of your hand wrapped around mine...

The tenderness of your fingers when you touch my hair...

The soft whisper of your breathe against my neck when you hold me...

The strong comfort of your arms at the end of a long day...

The passion in your kiss that makes my heart skip a beat...

The warm reassurance of your body against mine as we fall asleep...

Everytime you touch me, I find another reason to fall in love with you all over again...

Party night

Went shopping with Brenda after arrived kk. I brought a dress costed rm88, was planned to wear it on the party. But i didn't wear it at last because mum says it's too sexy.. *yaiks*

The party was ok.. Lotsa form 5 students from different schools. There were just have 3 performances like singing and breakdancing. Most attractive was the breakdance. They're just ready 3 presents for the lucky draw. My lucky number was 0116. I still remember the lucky number that been draw were 002*, 0051 and 0044. I've dance alots in the night. I met my ex classmates at there. Many guys asked me for a dance, but i've rejected. *keke* Im not use to dance with stranger. I just dance with my friends. One of my ex classmate ask me dance with him on the stage. I was reject him at first, but he really wanted to dance with me on the stage for two minuttes. We ended up dancing for 6 minuttes. He stole my 4 minuttes. *geee* I heard cheerings from peoples. I felt a bit shy. 2 of my ex classmates and 1 stranger were quite over. They asked if they can hug me. Weirdo..

Whatever it is, i still have fun at the party. =p

Being famous *buahaha*

*argh* not enough sleep again. Woke up on 5 something. Had a walk at the garden, damn cold.. Last night was busy doing my artwork. Damn! I would like to use fingerprint on my drawing but I have no idea at all!! I want my artwork looks special. My handwriting was horrible. Well, it's been quite awhile since I wrote using a pen.

It's Christmas Season!! I miss my family, him and friends and my presents too.. Wish could spend this special day with them although i knew it is impossible. =/ I think this huge house need some decorations so that i won't feel so empty. Tini does think so. Ohya, tomorrow night i have a party at kk, so i will fly back to kk on tomorrow's afternoon. Might be the last time i back there.

I have received lotsa messages and friend requests from my friendster second account and msn messager since my birthday. Where did they get my msn messager's address? First i was a bit of suprising but now i feel a bit scary because some of them messaged me that they know exactly where i am and what am i doing at that time. Do you think i have to wear sunglass or whatever things to cover up myself wherever i go? *shrug*

*yawn* Feel sleepy. Am going to sleep.. Nites!

Life is cruel.

Back to kl, Ken pick me up from KLIA. We didn't talk over 10 words in the car. It was a piece silent. Arrived. Kakak Tini was waiting me at the garden. She was quite excited when she saw me. She is such a nice person. She prepared many dishes for me. Almost my favourite. Love her very much. At night, we talked to each other. She knew im not happy staying at here. She was pity of me. She said she can't help me anything. She did. She cheers me up.. I saw a present and a bouguet of lily with a card at my cupboard near my bed. The present contains a ring, a pair of earrings and a necklace. One set accessories with small diamond with it. Really nice. It's present from Ken. Although i like it, but i don't feel like recieve it. =/

This afternoon went online chat with Ray. He told me love someone doesn't mean have to be with him and should wish him for his own happiness. Maybe he's right. I have to let go of him. I wish im generous to do this. Please tell me if i really have to do so.. If once i did, please don't appear in my life anymore, i scare i will regret. I never wanted to see if he is with anyone else.

A touching story

他和她是大学的同学。四年，在一起有四年的时光。四年简简单单的光阴，四年无忧无虑的光阴。

他是个高大的男孩，脸上永远挂着最灿烂的笑容。和所有的男孩一样，他粗心，会丢三落四；爱打篮球、爱睡懒觉、爱抱着吉他唱歌、爱和漂亮的师妹聊天。而她，是个平凡的细心的女孩，她爱做梦、爱幻想、爱看男生打篮球，爱远远的有些羞涩地给他们加油。

他和她是最普通的朋友。见面仅仅点个头的朋友。但点头以后，她就会心跳，就会脸红。怎么了？她在心里问自己，我 …… 喜欢他吗？她摇摇头，不承认自己的感情。她小心地封闭着自己的感情，小心地注视着自己的心里的王子。而他，丝毫也没有注意到。他有了一个漂亮的女朋友。是的，高高的他，不会注意平凡的她。

故事开始在毕业前。那年的散伙饭，大家都像疯了一样；拼命地喝酒，拼命地唱歌。毕业有那么多的快乐，也有那么多的麻烦。他和女朋友终于分手了，毕业让他们分道扬镳。他不停和朋友们喝酒，为自己枯萎的恋情。她一个人，在一个角落，轻轻的为自己斟满了一杯酒。她从不喝酒的，但这一次，她为自己倒了满满的一杯酒。在心里给自己鼓了鼓劲，她走向了他。 “ 祝你前途无量 ” 。她说的有点急促，她的心一直在跳。他可能根本没有看清眼前的她，端起酒杯就喝。酒精让他的眼睛朦胧了。他看着眼前这个平凡的模糊的影子，全乱了，世界全乱了。 “ 是我的公主吗？ ” 他醉了，醉意中的他一把抱住了她。而她，眼泪倾泄而出，为了这错误的拥抱。

是的，是错的就是错的。大家很快就毕业了。这个热烈的拥抱，却留在了她的心里。这是她第一次倒在一个男孩的怀里，这是她暗暗爱慕了四年的王子呀。有这个就足够了，她静静地想。王子，只是经常出现在梦里。

尽管在一个城市，但大家的联系机会并不多。他在 IT 界工作，她去了一家著名的通信公司。一年以后了，大家聚会。并不像小说里写的那样，很多同学仍然是独身。他偶然谈起自己很累。他忿忿地说资本主义剥削人，自己只是迟到一天，就被扣掉了一次 FRIDAY’S 的消费。朋友们都说你这样的懒虫用闹钟是没有用的，闹钟会叫醒手指而不会叫醒大脑，只能有个好心人给一个 MORNING CALL 才行。一直默默无声的她突然说话了：让我叫你吧。他也惊异。她笑笑，我不用掏电话费而已。他释然了，好，谢谢。

就这样，早上七点，他的手机就准时地响起。开始，她只是简单的说：早上好，起床吧。就这样，从夏天，到春天。他们的 MORNING CALL 的时间越来越长，从半分钟到十分钟。谈谈工作，谈谈天气。他总是谢她。而她刻意地躲开了。她怕他看透自己的心事。她知道他不会爱自己的，自己也没有必要认真。但她真的不认真吗？每天，六点四十她就会醒。再困她也不会睡着。因为她的心在跳个不行，就像大学时见到他一样。

又一年过去了。大学的同学已经很少有联系了。而他和她，凭着 MORNING CALL ，竟然保持着每天一个电话的奇迹！但这个电话只是一个早上的问候，除了这个时间，他们几乎没有任何联系。可能，新年时，有了一张贺卡，他想请她吃饭，她拒绝了。保持着自己的秘密不说，她觉得自己有一份骄傲。而她更加清楚，他不是自己的。就这样，他们用一个非常松懈的方法联系着。他们对彼此的生活并不了解。她病了。老是头痛。有一次她晕倒了，才知道，她得了脑瘤。万分之一的治愈可能。她在医院里。但她依然没忘自己的任务。每天，用自己的手机，拨通他的手机。听着那边的他模模糊糊的回答，她就安心了。她认真完成自己的任务，她也知道，这样的日子不多了。而他高大英俊的身影，一直是她最牵挂的东西。

她的病越来越重了。她开始昏迷，她离死亡越来越近。有一种强力的针剂可以把她从昏迷中唤醒，她请求医生，在每天的清晨，给她用这种药。医生答应了，对一个垂死的人，没有什么不能答应。她依然打他的手机，用最快乐的声音，编制最可信的谎话。他好粗心，他什么都没有发觉。

他在 IT 界越做越好，人气渐旺。俨然成了中关村的知识英雄了。人们说他是个敬业守时的人。只有他的第一个老板知道，他爱迟到；只有他的同学知道，他是个懒鬼。他身边总是围绕着美丽的女孩，因为他分明是一个新贵！他会逢场作戏，但没有真心。其实他自己还不知道，每天清晨的那个手机，已经让他习惯。尽管他早就不需要那个 MORNING CALL ，但他没说，每天早上，他等着那个电话响起。他会问自己：我爱她吗？会娶她吗？不，他摇摇头，她实在太平凡了，没有一丝的眩目，我不要 …… 但他也知道，他习惯了她，他不能过没有她的日子。可能，比较平凡的女孩比较遵守信约，他这样安慰自己。可是，这样的手机联络并不能持续很久。因为，因为，因为她必须走了。她昏迷的时间越来越长。她开始失约，开始没有 MORNING CALL 。他有些奇怪，但并没有追问，女孩，该有自己的生活。他有时还偷偷笑笑：和男朋友云雨后就给另一个男人打电话当然不好。男孩，都这么粗心吗？

她的状况更差了。她在死亡的边缘。她的即将来临的死亡成了联系同学的信息；大量的同学来医院看她。他，终于也知道了这个消息。除了震惊他没有别的感觉。不是好好的吗？不是经常打 MORNING CALL 吗？尽管有时失约，但毕竟还是准时的呀。他认定她是急病。匆匆的买了一束黄玫瑰，赶往医院。他在心里认定她是他最好的朋友，黄玫瑰，代表友情。

他去开自己的车。手机又响了。是不是她？他真的已经习惯了她。不是，这是一个美丽的娇柔的小姐给他的信息：一颗心。他打量着自己的诺基亚，这是一个可以传递图形的手机。两年来，他收到了无数的心、天使，但，没有收到她的。他突然站住了，一个从不说爱的女孩。他很轻易的就想起了她的手机号码，每天都看一遍的数字： 13901120521 。他念了一遍。一种晕眩的感觉在他的头顶铺开。她是统计和管理这些数字的，她可以为自己挑一个最适合的。原来，每天，她都会说 521 。想清楚这些，他几乎站不住了。整个世界都转了过来。每天，每天，每天。在那个固定的时刻。她温柔的声音会在这里传到他的耳边 ——

“ 起床吧，别耽误了。 ”

“ 要不，你再睡会，我十分钟后叫你？ ”

“ 今天天冷，当心点。 ”

后来胆子大了，她也会用开玩笑的语气说：想没想我？

不，不，不。他不能想了。他突然觉得自己是世界上最大的一个笨蛋。他觉得自己说什么也不能失去她。对，不能失去，这种不能失去的感觉，这种害怕失去的痛苦，原来就是爱。他什么也说不出来了。自己可以编出最简洁的程序，可以黑掉世界上任何一个网站，但却看不透一个平凡的女孩。她真的平凡吗？不，不，我要她！他没有办法自己开车了，他叫了 TAXI 。他要赶到她的身边去，对，带着爱去！在一家花店门口，他叫车停住。他扔下了黄玫瑰。 “ 快，我要红玫瑰， 999 支！ ” 一个小店，哪有这么多。殷勤的小姐配了 99 支。

99 支火红的热烈的欧洲来的玫瑰终于随着他来到了病房。她，在昏迷。几台机器在她身边，发出奇怪的声音，闪着奇怪的图象。他在门外，他和 99 朵玫瑰一起等，等待她的苏醒。她一定会活着。有我爱她，她会活着！他轻声的呼唤她，我在等你！她终于苏醒过来了。他冲了进来，还有， 99 朵玫瑰。他趴在了她的耳边，就像每天早上她叫他一样，让自己的声音轻轻的传如她的耳朵：我爱你。她已经完全变了样子。任何人都知道，平凡是对一个不好看的女孩比较客气的评价。是的，她不是漂亮的女孩。而病中的她，更不好看了。可对他来说，他需要什么呢？他不需要漂亮的女孩，他只要一个全心爱他的头脑！他爱她。

脑瘤一直在压迫视神经，她实际上已经看不见什么了。他抓住了她的手，温柔的说：我现在没有钻戒，但我真诚地向你求婚。相信我！我只有 99 朵玫瑰。你是一个不平凡的女孩，你会喜欢玫瑰吗？我怕你不喜欢他们，但 …… 在他眼里，她是那么与众不同，她会喜欢俗气的玫瑰吗？而他，曾经送给过很多人玫瑰呀。他不知道自己该说什么。这不是怜悯不是同情。他知道自己醒悟的太晚了，他知道其实自己早就爱上了她。她小小的柔软的手被握在了他纤细的冰冷的手中。 “ 傻瓜，哪个女孩不喜欢玫瑰？ ” 她颤抖着，说了一句。他把她的手贴在自己的脸上，喃喃的说：我们结婚时，要 999 朵玫瑰，不 9999 朵 …… 她微笑着，又是昏迷。

几天了，他一直陪在医院。他拒听了一切来电，他的手机只等着一个号码： 13901120521 。她有时清醒，有时沉睡。

而清醒时她就说：真抱歉，我没有一直守约。

他就握住她的小小的手，说我真的爱你，一直爱你，我等你。

“ 这是我一生中最快乐的时光 ”“ 有你，我才幸福。 ”

他不信这是最后的时光，他要把她唤回，他要她受约，他要她一辈子叫他起床。

这天她清醒的时间特长，似乎她又能看见东西了。但她几乎已经不能呼吸，她仍在清晨给了他一个微笑，一个最美的笑。但接着，就是剧烈的头痛和呕吐。仪器上显示她的颅内压已经相当高了。她快走了。而这种情形下，只有她，只有她自己可以体会这种痛苦。医生在诊断书上写下： “ 实行安乐死比较人道。 ”

当然不会，这是最幸福的时光，有他。

好静。周围好静。已经是秋天了，树叶从枝头落下，铺满了小路。这是他们初相遇的季节。她望着他，想他们的故事。校园里的心跳，毕业时热烈的拥抱，看似无意的承诺，每天清晨让人又恨又怜的电话铃声，还有那玫瑰。她用眼神示意了一下。他从她的枕头下拿出了她的手机。他第一次见到这个每天叫他的手机。小巧的蓝色的手机， 13901120521 ，他最喜欢的颜色，也是他最喜欢的型号 —— 诺基亚。他掏出了自己的手机。一颗心，他郑重地传递给她一颗心。她微笑了。四周真的好静，只有手机键盘拨号的声音。她，第一次，为他打上了一颗心。

她把自己的手机递到了他的面前，缓缓地闭上了眼睛。他拿过了两个手机，把他们挨在一起。屏幕上，那两颗心也靠在了一起。